Transcript - Trading Places

Hey, I know this is kind of abrupt, but I got the transcript, and based on popular vote, I'm adding this one and changing the poll so that I can add the transcript and keep the poll running.

Sorry about any confusion this may have caused.


"Trading Places"

Written by Anne Baumgarten and Bruce Shelly
Songs by Rich Mendoza, Lyrics and Music
Transcribed by Agent0042

Agent0042: Leave it to Mr. Snooty to just demand of Mr. Otter that he and his family do housesitting and not even leave them a set of instructions or anything. Anyways, I managed to get a better audio quality this time, so transcribing was easier, but scene descriptions are still somewhat minimal as I'm not working along with video. If anyone has a particular transcript they want next, check my collection list over at TV.com...


Characters

Adam Rose as Peanut Otter
Jenell Brook Slack as Jelly Otter
Gina Marie Tortorici as Baby Butter Otter

Gwen Shepard as Opal Otter
Chris Phillips as Ernest Otter
Eddie Korbich as Flick Duck
Eddie Korbich as Ootsie Snooty
Eddie Korbich as Bootsie Snooty
Eddie Korbich as Mr. Edouard Snooty
Bruce Bayley Johnson as Mayor Jeff
Alarm


Opal: "Trading Places"


(sound of boat honking)

Flick: What's goin' on?
Ootsie: Hello, little otters.
Bootsie: Goodbye, little otters. We're off to Poodletopia.
Mr. Snooty: Mr. Otter, it's your rich and lucky day. You get to do me a favor.
Ernest: What kind of favor, Mr. Snooty?
Mr. Snooty: I need a reliable family to live in Snooty Mansion while we're gone.
Ernest: Well, if I think of someone, I'll let ya' know.
Mr. Snooty: Uh uh uh. Ernest, there's only one family for the job. Yours.
Ernest: Mine?
Mr. Snooty: I want you and your family to move into Snooty Mansion immediately. Here. (tosses Ernest a phone)
Ernest: Wow. Whoa! Whoa!
Mr. Snooty: You can call me at any time on my exclusive satellite uplink. I'm Hoohaw One, you're Hoohaw Two.
Ernest: (unenthused) Hoohaw One, Hoohaw Two.
Mr. Snooty: You got it! But you won't need it. I've programmed our home computer to handle everything!
Ernest: Got it.


(The Snooties speed away. The Otter family heads to the Snooty Mansion.)


Jelly: This is gonna be great!
Peanut: Yeah, let's do it!


(They open the door and a loud alarm begins clanging. A balloon floats up, broadcasting the intruder alert so loudly that it can probably be heard throughout the whole community of Lake Hoohaw. Bars appear on the doors and windows.)


Alarm: Warning! Warning! Intruder A non-poodle has entered the house!
Ernest: Hoohaw Two calling Hoohaw One. Come in, Hoohaw One! Please!
Mr. Snooty: This is Hoohaw One. How does it feel to be living in poodle heaven, Hoohaw Two?
Ernest: We can't get in. How do we shut off your entrance alarm system?
Mr. Snooty: No problem. Go to the control panel right next to the front door. Open it. Honk the clown nose twice.


(Ernest honks the clown nose twice, "honk, honk!" and the alarm mercifully abates.)


Peanut: Wow. If it's this exciting outside, just imagine how great it's gonna be inside.
Ernest: Everything fine now, Hoohaw One. This is Ernest, I mean Hoohaw Two, signing off. (sound of phone beeping) Huh? Like I said, Mr. Snooty, we're okay now.
Mayor Jeff: No, Ernest, this is Mayor Jeff at Hoohaw Three.
Ernest: It's Mayor Jeff. Mr. Snooty told him to call this number if he hears the alarm at the Snooty Mansion.
Opal: Well, I guess you can tell him everything's under control.
Ernest: Hoohaw Two to Hoohaw Three. Everything's under control here, Mayor Jeff. Now if we can just keep it that way...
Peanut: I'm hungry.
Jelly: Me too.
Butter: Me thwee.
Ernest: Well, then the first thing we'd better do is find the kitchen.
Jelly: It's not this way.
Peanut: Don't see it this way.
Opal: No kitchen this way.
Ernest: (sound of phone beeping) Hoohaw Two calling Hoohaw One. Hate to bother ya', Mr. Snooty, but where's the kitchen?
Mr. Snooty: Which one? The Monday Kitchen, the Tuesday Kitchen...?
Ernest: Which-- whichever one is closest.
Mr. Snooty: Oh. Just look on the map in the hallway. You'll find easy routes to all seven kitchens. Good luck. (sound of phone beeping) Ah, the Grand Poodletopia Hotel.
Ootsie and Bootsie: Ooh.
Mr. Snooty: Too bad we can't stay there.
Ootsie and Bootsie: Awwww!
Mr. Snooty: Sorry. There are no rooms available in the Grand Poodletopia. But I think Camp Survival will be great fun! (Ootsie and Bootsie make a sound of distress.)

Ernest: Now, let's see...
Jelly: I think if we go through the Tuesday TV Room, past the Sunday Solarium, then we might get to the Wednesday Kitchen.
Ernest: Good thinking, Jelly. Follow me, everyone.
Jelly: We found it.
Peanut: Finally.
Butter: Eat! Eat!
Ernest: I'll check what's in the fridge. Hey, how about some nice caviar-basted bones with imported wild mushroom dog sauce?
Peanut, Jelly and Opal: No, thanks! (Butter blows a loud raspberry.)
Peanut: Yuck. But speaking of dogs, I could go for a plain old clamdog right about now.
Jelly: Me too! On a plain old bun. Mmm.
Butter: Me thwee!
Ernest: Uhhhhhhh, ooh. Sorry, ya'll. No clamdogs and no plain old bun.
Ootsie: Plain old clamdogs?
Bootsie: On a plain old bun?
Ootsie and Bootsie: Yuck!
Bootsie: I wonder if there's a caviar takeout in the neighborhood.


(Back at the Poodle Mansion. Peanut and Jelly have managed to locate a bedroom and are settling down for bed.)


Peanut: (yawns widely and loudly) Boy, I'm really sleepy.
Jelly: (yawns the same way) Me too. I just hope I can stay awake until Mom and Dad can tuck us in.
Peanut: (yawns) That won't be too long. I'll bet they'll get Butter right to sleep.


~~~Bedtime Button~~~

[Jelly]

(What's this?)

[Peanut]

(reading "Bedtime button.")

[Peanut and Jelly]

(Huh?)

[Poodle Robots]

When nighttime comes
It's time to sleep
To your bed
Now you must creep
Woof, woof, woof

Good night
Sleep tight.

[Jelly]

(Wow. Was that a nightmare?)


Peanut: Yeah. I can't wait for Mom and Dad to come say a real good night.
Jelly: Me neither. Mom! Daddy!

(sound of owl hooting)

Bootsie: Father should have brought our good night robots.


~~~Wish I Was Home~~~

[Ootsie and Bootsie]

(We'll never get to sleep!)

[Peanut]

I wish I was back in our houseboat
Tucked in my cozy bunk bed

[Jelly]

If this is luxury
The good life's not for me
I wish I was back home instead

[Peanut]

This room's too big

[Jelly]

The bed's too soft

[Peanut]

Nothing here feels right

[Jelly]

Those crazy poodle robots
Gave us such a nasty fright

[Peanut]

With rhinestone-studded pillows
You can't have a pillow fight

[Jelly]

I wish I was home in my own bed tonight

[Bootsie]

I wish I was back in our mansion
Tucked into cool satin sheets

[Ootsie]

Here at Fort Survival
We'll be lucky to survive
I wish we could sound the retreat

[Bootsie]

This tent's too small

[Ootsie]

The ground's too hard

[Bootsie]

The sleeping bag's too tight

[Ootsie]

Our lovely poodle robots
Would be such a welcome sight

[Bootsie]

We left our bones at home
And there's nothing good to bite

[Ootsie]

I wish I was home
In my own bed tonight

[Peanut, Jelly, Ootsie and Bootsie]

Star-light, star-bright
I wish I was home
In my own bed tonight.


(Scene change. It's morning time and Peanut and Jelly have obviously had a rough night.)


Opal: And how did you kids sleep?
Peanut: (yawns) I missed my own bed.
Jelly: Me too.
Butter: Me thwee.
Opal: You'll cheer up if you go play in the toy room. Your father and I will figure out how to make breakfast.
Butter: Play, play!
Jelly: Hmm.


(They head to the toy room and have a lot of fun playing with the toys...)


Peanut: Cool toys!
Jelly: Wow, look at this great play structure!


(Alarm klaxon begins wailing.)


Alarm: Warning! Warning! A non-poodle is trying to play on the poodle play structure!
Jelly: Ahh! We've gotta find Mom and Dad and stop this.
Peanut: Hmm.
Jelly: Mama, Daddy, call Mr. Snooty.
Peanut: He's got to tell us how to turn off the playroom alarms.
Ernest: Honey, have you seen the phone?
Opal: I thought you had it, Ernest.
Ernest: Uh, gotta be here someplace...


(Sound of another alarm klaxon.)


Alarm: Warning! Warning! A non-poodle has entered the kitchen!
Peanut: Oh no! How can we stop these alarms?
Jelly: If there was ever a time for a noodle dance, this is it!
Peanut: But how can we think in all this noise?
Jelly: How can we not think?


(The alarms, thankfully, do not follow the family into the Noodle Dance sequence. Ernest and Opal decide to join in the dance. Peanut stands still, as usual, for about a couple seconds and then joins in the dance.)


Noodle, use your noodle
Noodle, do the noodle dance!


Jelly: I've got it! We can turn off all the electricity.
Ernest: Great idea!
Jelly: But we don't know where the main switch is.
Ernest: I could go look for it, but it might take forever.
Peanut: Maybe we should just go home.
Opal: We can't do that. Your Dad promised Mr. Snooty we'd take care of his mansion.
Peanut: Maybe we could get Mayor Jeff to take over for us. He's got a bone phone too.
Jelly: That's it! Mayor Jeff!
Peanut: I'm glad you agree.
Jelly: No! Mayor Jeff has the Hoohaw Three phone. He can call Dad's Hoohaw Two phone and when it rings, we can find it.
Peanut: And call Mr. Snooty and he'll tell us how to turn off all the alarms. But how do we get Mayor Jeff to call?
Jelly: By setting off the outside alarm system, so he sees the balloon.
Opal: That's using your noodle, Jelly.
Ernest: Come on.
Jelly: Okay, Daddy. Open the front door, just like you did the first time.


(He does and the alarms go off.)


Alarm: Warning! Warning! Intruders! A non-poodle has entered the house!
Jelly: Listen. Do you hear that?
Peanut: It's the Hoohaw Two phone.
Jelly: And it's in your pocket.
Ernest: Oops. Heh. Forgot I put it here.
Mayor Jeff: Hoohaw Two, this is Hoohaw Three. What's wrong at the Snooty Mansion?
Ernest: Mayor Jeff, this is Ernest Otter. Everything's fine, actually. I just had you call me so I could ask you to hang up. Thanks and goodbye.
Mayor Jeff: Well, you're welcome and goodbye. What was that all about?
Ernest: This is Hoohaw Two calling Hoohaw One. How do we turn off every alarm in the house?
Mr. Snooty: No problem, Hoohaw Two. I have a special plan for this situation. Ya' just honk the clown's nose once.
Ernest: Thank you, very much. Hey, you're here!
Jelly: Mr. Snooty, we didn't expect you back so early.
Mr. Snooty: Ootsie and Bootsie insisted we come.
Ootsie: Camp Survival is awful.
Bootsie: The horror!
Ootsie: There's just no place
Bootsie: like home!


(The Otters are back at their houseboat.)


Opal: Everybody comfy?
Peanut: Ootsie and Bootsie were right. There's no place like home.
Jelly: Well, they were kind of right.
Peanut: Kind of?
Jelly: Yeah. There's no place like our home.
Peanut: You sure got that right!
Butter: Home! Home!

(all laugh)